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“How do I connect better with people?” This past week I received this question from one of our listeners, Kate. My instinctive response was to say something trite like, “smile, say their name, and be yourself.” Those things are all true. But this listener is pretty introverted and had posed the following question to me before, “can I be myself and still be successful in sales, even though I’d rather read a book than talk to new people.” I think this question is one that many introverts ask to themselves but don’t speak up with, well because they are introverts. My answer is, “Yes, you can be successful. You absolutely can.”
Outgoing people, don’t stop reading. You have people on your team that think like this. You can’t look at this as some intuitive thing, because this is a real issue for your shyer team members. In fact, my tongue in cheek response was that of someone who leans to the extroverted spectrum. Sometimes we can be such jerks because we don’t always listen. But not our more introverted counterparts, they have the listening gift that continues to bite us in the booty.
In Quiet Influence: The Introvert’s Guide to Making a Difference, author Jennifer Kahnweiler asserts that three of the introverts biggest strengths are preparation, engaged listening and focused conversations. Drawing on her observations, and those of my own, I have 5 tips for you introverts to help make a difference in your sales career.
- Do not try to be an extrovert.
- Listen, listen, listen.
- Prepare for situations you know will come up.
- Initiate conversations with open ended questions.
- Maximize 1-on-1 time.
Tip #1: Do not try to be an extrovert.
If you want to connect with people, never try to be someone you are not. The challenge is that many shy people will ask outgoing people how to be more outgoing. That is a big mistake because it’s based on the outgoing person’s personality. When you want to learn to be more outgoing, find an introvert that has drawn on his or her strengths and get advice from that person! If you try to be someone you are not, you will find yourself exhausted and drained and more likely to give up on the whole thing. However, this doesn’t mean that you should just give up on the whole thing. What you need to do is focus on what you are great at. In fact, there are many things you are better at than outgoing people, and these can make all the difference.
Tip #2: Listen, listen, listen.
You are a natural born listener and you will draw many people’s adoration just because they love talking to you about their life. By listening, you provide support that many are lacking, and you will gain incredible insights poising you to be a great benefit to others.
Listen intently to the following topics:
- Pain points- what is of utmost concern to your customers.
- Their answers to open ended questions- ask questions like, “Tell me, what’s happening in your world? I’ll get more into open-ended questions in tip #4 so hang tight.
- Their subtle cues about their feelings, as well as body language indicators.
- Ask for feedback to gain credibility. This will prove your thought and concern for their needs versus your own. For example, you can ask, “what do you think makes the most sense?” Then listen away and watch the other person light up.
In addition, your comfort with silence is a wonderful benefit. A lot of people just need to talk through their thoughts. Often, someone will talk themselves out of a bad decision without you saying a word. Or, in the sales world, they will talk themselves out of their own concern just by having the opportunity to think out loud. When you are with someone more on the extroverted end of the spectrum, they will especially keep talking and giving you insight on how to truly help them. Just be wary of being led down rabbit holes. Prepare for that inevitability.
Tip #3: Prepare for situations you know will come up.
Are you going into a 1-on-1? Prepare your outline to build your confidence. Take the extra time to do so and you will be good to go. Do you know what concerns are likely to come up? Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Prepare in advance for these responses. In that alone time you love so much, take the time to prepare to help your conversations go more smoothly. Others may think you are too analytical and you are thinking too much. But thinking too much is what you are good at. While you can never be prepared for every single thing, preparing for what you know will give you quite an edge.
Tip #4: Initiate conversations with open-ended questions.
Oh no, meeting new people. Don’t worry, you got this. Remember that preparation strength you have? Methodically prepare a few ice breaker questions that you like to learn about people instead of the small talk that makes you crazy. Much like a toolbox, each of your questions will be used in different situations. If you are at karate and run into a mom you kind of know, you can ask, “Tell me, what’s happening in your world?” She will likely be caught off-guard by such a question, but once she gets over the initial shock that someone cares about what is happening in her life, she will surely share as much as she is comfortable. Then just turn on your listening skills. If you are going into a class or 1-on-1, ask, “What are some of your goals?” If you are going to a dinner party (OH NO!), try, “Tell me about your family” or “tell me about what you like to do when you aren’t at dinner parties.” Your conversations will take on a life of their own, and the people you are speaking with will think you are the best conversationalist they have ever met without you saying much at all.
Tip #5: Maximize 1-on-1 time.
You are so strong 1-on-1 due to your listening skills and calm temperament. Make the most of this and meet with people 1-on-1 or in small groups as much as possible. I know, it’s hard for you to get your energy up to manage a large room but there are other ways to be successful. Meeting with someone face to face is obviously preferred but with use of video technologies like Skype you can duplicate this 1-on-1 atmosphere with ease and excel in it. If you are running a larger meeting, try to give tidbits of information to people individually beforehand since you will likely be more persuasive 1-on-1.
Thank you Kate for your question! I hope this helps you draw from your strengths and I know it will help you to connect better with people.
Do you also have a question or scenario you would like help with? Email me at tasha@emergesalestraining.com. Have a great week and I look forward to chatting next week!
Tasha
Source: CollegeMatchup.net
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