Being at the top is amazing right? Riiiiiight.
Here is the biggest problem with leadership- if things go poorly it is the leader’s fault and if it goes well it’s the team’s victory. That sucks.
Why does this happen?
1. Because we want to do a good job
2. Extreme ownership
3. This is not a bad thing
4. Because there is literally no recognition at the top
How does this damage our self-esteem?
1. It’s never good enough
2. There is always more to do
3. The constantly raising bar of influence is unattainable by definition
How does this damage the long-term health of our teams? If we can’t recognize our success, it will be so much harder to recognize theirs. Our team models our behavior. More is caught than taught. So if you are super hard on yourself, they will be super hard on themselves too.
What do we do to fight this? Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. This is normal behavior. I’ve had a lot of conversations lately where I’ve encouraged people to move from “WHY!?!!?” to “why?” If you feel like I am describing you then I want to let you know you are 100% normal and these are good qualities. However, we do need to make some changes or you will continue to spiral as a lunatic.
You might think your #1 job is to sell and bring on new customers. WRONG.
You might think your #1 job is to be there for your people, to be available. WRONG.
Or to strategize. Or even to coach, which we think is super important. Wrong again.
Your #1 job responsibility as a leader is self-care. When I was a young manager I had a financial advisor who helped me with profit and loss. He asked me why my leadership was so important and I said that my mission was to sell hope. He pointed out, “how can you sell hope if you have none of your own?” I have never forgotten that moment. It’s so true. I’m not talking about pampering, work-life balance or all those other buzzwords. I’m talking about peace, confidence, and a clear definition of success. I’m talking about saving the drama for your mama.
And so here is the first, most important part of your job as a leader- to lead yourself.
1. Set clear goals and have a clear definition of success, the way you would for your team.
2. Have clear action items that will help you and your team reach your goals. Your action items should be within your control. For example, you can’t go out and sell for people. But you can define success as practicing a skill in each coaching call this week and locking your team member down to how many appointments they need to focus on setting.
3. Reflect back on what went well and what didn’t go well.
4. Make a plan to begin more intelligently the next week.
I think the most important part is to create a journal or a place to record your wins. There are enough losses, no need to record them. But we need to develop the discipline of recognizing success in ourselves to keep our own hope tank full.
If this is super hard for you and you will neglect it, I recommend setting up a mastermind. Not a whine session mastermind, but a success mastermind. Whose sole focus is to get together and hold each other accountable to celebrating wins. Think about how powerful it would be if a group of leaders came together each week and shared three wins from the previous week. The energy would be electric. The best practices would abound. The inner strength would grow.
Why is celebrating wins so important to your team culture? If you can’t recognize them in your business you won’t be able to recognize them in your team’s business. Encouragement is oxygen to the soul.
And so my friends, my encouragement to you today is to start with yourself. The life you impact the most just might be your own.
Thanks for listening to the podcast today. If you are new to Emerge, I want to let you know about the Closing Workshop. This is where for only $27 we will teach you how to craft your high converting, customer centric sales conversation. It’s May 6th, 9-12 PST and is on zoom. You can register at emergesalestraining.com/closing. This is also great for people on your team to get started.