In this post, I’m going to:
- Define courage
- Discuss what prevents us from acting in a courageous way (especially in 2021)
- Some of the steps I use for myself and with clients to get past the fear, and into action
Watch the video here:
What is courage?
- The mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty
What prevents us from acting in a courageous way?
- Fear of judgement
- Actually don’t know what to do or say
- Social discomfort
- Extreme vigilance
*I want to acknowledge that courage feels harder in 2021. We are all in a state of hypervigilance. This makes things that aren’t scary a lot scarier. Things that we would not be afraid of are different now. Our brains can’t handle so much vigilance and I think most of us are at the brink, and we are having a hard time determining what is dangerous and what isn’t. When the safety of a meal and a nap on my mom’s couch after a stressful week isn’t safe anymore, is there anything else that is?
The other day I had a client reach out daring to think about going for a huge contest her company is having. Then she said she was scared. I responded, “is the contest an aerosol virus that is highly contagious and unpredictable?” She said, “no.” I said ok, “well then in context, not so scary right?” Except that isn’t how our brains work unfortunately. In a world where including people is dangerous, it becomes harder to include people in our businesses.
Steps to be more courageous:
- Identify the actual fear- a few years ago, my business partner Karen noticed I was extra fearful but I couldn’t put it into words. She gave me the HORRIBLE assignment of taking the weekend to write down all my fears. I did it. After a few twists and turns, I realized I was most afraid of letting Charlie down as a wife. Yikes! Once I figured out what the fear was, I was able to actually pretty easily find a way around it.
- Play the fear out. So let’s say I’m afraid that someone I haven’t talked to in 5 years won’t respond to my, “Hi, I haven’t talked to you in a while, how are you?” I’ve found it really helpful to play the “then what?” game. It really annoys my clients, but it breaks their fear and reinforces my street cred as “mean coach.” LOL
- Get some confirmation that you are on the right track. Many of my clients say they are afraid, but actually they know deep down that their approach or the words they are about to say aren’t quite right. Training in communication really helps with a lot of those fears because you are confident that you are going to say the right thing. In one of my small group masterminds, we have a rule. If you run into more than 45 minutes of resistance, you actually might be hitting some intuition that you don’t actually know what to do. So our clients will put an SOS and type out what they were going to do or say. Then others in the group, in addition to me, will respond. I’ll correct their strategy, or tell them they are right on and go for it! This extra confirmation gives them the courage they need to move into action.
- Ask yourself, if I wasn’t afraid, what would I do? For me, if I wasn’t afraid, I still wouldn’t choose the speaking circuit. I prefer my coaching practice to travel for work and if I’m traveling I’d prefer my destination be an all-inclusive vacation. So my apprehension isn’t fear, it’s wisdom. But when asking about other decisions, this question provides a good framework for decision-making. Then I have to ask myself, am I a champ or a chump? I choose to be a champ, so I do action a champ would do, even if they are afraid. 🙂 All people have fears. The question is whether or not you are going to promote fear to CEO, or fire it for lack of performance.
Most adults are afraid of judgement. This isn’t something that kids run into. When I was writing my book, Customer First, I was actually pretty terrified. It didn’t make a lot of sense. We had sold over $3 million worth of my words. To have a conversation with me about your business was $500 at the time. But I was worried about what people would think of my book that I was… giving away for free or $11? I had to acknowledge that it was the fear of “who does she think she is” and ultimately the fear of judgement that was holding me back. Once I realized that, I was on the right track.
The reason I was more afraid than normal is because it felt more permanent to have an actual book. I was afraid because I had never done it before! That’s normal. In addition to deciding that the fear of judgement wasn’t as strong as my fear of not making an impact, I had a few other things that helped me. Second, I stopped looking at it as something I had never done before. I reframed it into writing 20 podcasts and stringing them together. Since I had done 300ish podcasts that didn’t feel scary. Third, my business coach and business partner promised they wouldn’t let me publish something that wasn’t good. The editing process was painful to my ego for sure. But luckily the aftermath of the publishing process hasn’t been. I knew 100% that when I released it to the world it would be thoughtful and excellent work.
Just to recap really quickly if you are wanting to increase your courage, remember it’s not your fault if it’s trickier than usual. But that doesn’t mean we can just be afraid and hide all the time. So to increase courage take some time to explore the root of the fear, play it out to see if it’s really that bad, and if it’s with your business, get some confirmation that the move you are about to make is set up properly.
And do the things you would do… if you weren’t afraid. 🙂
Tasha
When you are ready there are a few ways to work with us:
Step 1: Join our community of awesome network marketers at emergesalestraining.com/group. In this Facebook community, I do consistent live videos (not featured here) addressing community member questions, and you will have an opportunity to connect with me and my team. I really hope to see you there!
Step 2: Sign up for a FREE Focus Call. Fill out a brief form at emergesalestraining.com/chat and a member of our team will connect with you to chat through your goals, your current situation, identify the #1 obstacle that is holding you back, and give you an action plan. At the end, you will feel clear and confident about what you need to focus on in your business to reach your goals. If you want us to work with you to implement the plan, great! We will share how that works and get you set up so you can gain quick momentum. If not, no big deal, we want to make sure you have clarity no matter what. Go to emergesalestraining.com/chat to schedule.
Step 3: Join the Emerge Surge. The Emerge Surge is our year-round group coaching program where you will be able to organize and implement your productivity, sales, recruiting, leadership, and social media systems at your own pace. Attend live coaching calls with Tasha 1x per week, watch simple “what to do next and what to say” videos to move into action immediately, and collaborate with other “doers” to hold yourself accountable and inspire you to be the best version of yourself. You never have to feel alone again. Join for your first 2 weeks for free, and only $47/month after that at https://emergesales.kartra.com/page/14days